• Home
  • Training
  • Public Upset Coaching
  • Disarming Anger
  • Bio
  • Blog
  • Compassion@Work
  • Contact
MANAGING UPSET®

The "Public Apology Fail" Blog
Because everyone can learn from public mistakes

“I said I was

6/12/2018

3 Comments

 

sorry"

​To disarm anger, try empathy instead of apology

If you think back to the last time you felt hurt or wronged, confronted the person in question, and received an “I’m sorry” in response, how satisfied did you feel? Assuming the person was sincere and did not try to explain or justify the behavior, did you consider the apology sufficient to make up for the offense? Most likely it did not, because anyone can wrong another person and say “I’m sorry” without having any real understanding of how their actions were hurtful, why they mattered, or how others felt about them.

​The act of apologizing does not actually convey understanding or empathy. So why bother?
READ MORE
3 Comments

Minding our                                                                  "Buts"

3/1/2018

1 Comment

 

 

In the classic movie Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, one of the most memorable scenes involves Pee Wee trying to inspire a waitress to follow her dream of moving to Paris, which goes comically awry. 

Pee Wee:       Simone, this is your dream. You have to follow it.

Simone:          I know you’re right, but…

Pee Wee:       But what? Everyone I know has a big “but.” C’mon, Simone, let’s talk about your big “but.”

(Simone’s boyfriend overhears this conversation, and subsequently chases Pee Wee in a murderous rage).
​
Despite falling a hair short of cinematic brilliance, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure stumbled onto something profound: the word “but” is a curse that hurts communication and undermines relationships.
READ MORE
1 Comment

The two worst                                                            things to say at                                                          work

1/24/2018

1 Comment

 

(that you wouldn’t expect to cause problems)

​A reporter recently contacted me for a quote about things never to say at work. She expected me to say something like, “You look sexy in that suit” or “The boss’ husband is a beefcake,” but I offered two less obvious examples:
I understand
​I know how you feel
But Jason, you’re thinking, we use these all the time. They are indelibly etched into our speech habits. What harm can they cause, and how could we ever hope to remove them from our vocabulary? You’re right. These are common expressions most everyone uses without a second thought—which means you are immune from judgment for past utterances. Going forward, however, if you say either of these, you will do so with full knowledge of their negative impact.
read more
1 Comment

Guilty of Sexual                                    Harassment?

11/27/2017

2 Comments

 


​​Be Thankful for this Perspective


This isn’t another softball, Thanksgiving-related blog about gratitude, but a step-by-step guide to help people who have committed sexual harassment regain their humanity and their life, and bring some compassion to people that have suffered as a result of their actions.
​
If you have harassed someone, your number is up.

Between the #MeToo movement and the daily breaking news stories of high-profile celebrities and politicians accused of offensive acts, our society has crossed a threshold. People are disclosing experiences of sexual harassment with increasing frequency, and the more people that speak out, the safer everyone will feel to report their individual ordeals. Shame, intimidation, and fear are no longer keeping people silent, so the truth is coming for you. However, this reckoning may not have to ruin your life. If you have a conscience, an ability to take responsibility, and a willingness to generate compassion for the person(s) you have wronged, I would be honored to illuminate your path to redemption.
Read more
2 Comments

United Airlines

8/15/2017

1 Comment

 


​Too Little, Too Late


We have all seen the footage of aviation security officers dragging Dr. David Dao, in a forcible and degrading manner, off United Express Flight 3411, resulting in the doctor suffering a head injury, a broken nose, and two lost teeth—in front of the entire world. In the age of instantly viral videos, CEO Oscar Munoz needed to offer a swift, effective apology to preserve United's reputation and keep customers from fleeing to competitors. He failed.
READ MORE
1 Comment

Bill Maher:

6/11/2017

0 Comments

 


Did you really just say that?


To his credit, Bill Maher apologized to his fans and invited three African-American guests to “school him” for using the n-word during his June 2nd episode of Real Time. Although his apology initially appeared sincere, it was incomplete and included critical flaws. Considering the gravity of his offense and potential damage to his reputation, he needed to be better.
read more
0 Comments

     

    All articles written by Jason Sackett, PCC, LCSW, CEAP.

    Archives

    June 2018
    March 2018
    January 2018
    November 2017
    August 2017
    June 2017

    START MANAGING UPSET TODAY
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • Training
  • Public Upset Coaching
  • Disarming Anger
  • Bio
  • Blog
  • Compassion@Work
  • Contact